Good morning, Mr. Hunt. Doctor E. is a math professor at the University of Northern Iowa, who is back with the latest installment of his puzzle contest, open to any UNI student, or Iowa high-school student. Your mission Ethan, should you choose to accept it, is to solve the problem, in an attempt to win the $60 grand prize, or the $40 or $20 runner up prizes. As always, should any member of your I.M. force wind up with outstanding scores, the secretary will mail them handsome certificates, suitable for framing. Kadon Enterprises (www.gamepuzzles.com), makers of fine gamepuzzles since 1980, will supply additional prizes and support. Good luck, Ethan. This message will self-destruct eventually.

Turning in the correct solution to this week’s puzzle by 11/6 will earn 2 puzzle points. Turning in the correct solution along with a good example of a chiasmus will earn 3 puzzle points.

The University of Northern Iowa Faculty challenges the Iowa State University Faculty to a game of Rugby.  After the game, five of the players are eating steaks at the tres chic French restaurant, “Chóisìssez Votré Vàche Vòus-memé”  A reporter from the Northern Iowan was dispatched to interview the players.  Unfortunately for her, Professors are not known for giving simple answers to direct questions.

Her first question was, “So, which team won?”

Dr. Nietzche said, “My team won, of course.  We played like Supermen.”
Dr. Schopenhauer said, “Sartre’s team lost.   The game was so lopsided it was depressing.”
Dr. Descartes burped and said, “How do I even know you exist?  Go away.”
Dr. Sandborg said, “Schopenhauer’s team plummeted like a roller coaster.  They lost.”
Dr. Sartre said, “Descartes' team freely chose to win, and so they did.”

Things became worse for her when she found out the specialties of the players.  Evidentially, the UNI team was composed of Professors of Mathematics, who have dedicated their lives to always telling the truth.  The ISU team, however, was composed of Professors of the Study of Evil, who always lie.  Therefore, it was vital that she ask, “To which University do you belong?”  The answers were cryptic:

Which professor goes to which school, and which school won the match?